With the world events this past year, I've reflected on my thoughts and ideas. For a long time, I said, "I don't see color. I'm colorblind." As it relates to the color of someone's skin. And I had a difficult time understanding what was wrong with that thought process.
I can count on one hand the number of times I felt discriminated against for some reason. Once was in elementary school. A friend could not come to my house because my parents were divorced. I had mentioned something to my friend about my first step-dad being an alcoholic and she had shared that with her mom. Despite him no longer living with us, her mom was concerned about having her come over. I recall being upset. However, now as a parent, I can see the mom's perspective.
The other time I vividly recall was when I interviewed for a job in Utah after I was married. I purposefully removed my wedding ring prior to the interview. Graduating in a predominantly female program, I had been warned of this. However, the interviewer asked me point blank if I was married. I did not want to lie so I said yes. He spent more time asking me about my husband's path and career options than he did to me. It was devastating but no surprise when I did not get the job. Looking back, I wish I had spoken up to him and understood the legality of the situation.
I am sure I have been discriminated against for religious reasons but thankfully am unaware of them. I am also grateful that my skin color has not led others to discriminate against me or to racially profile me in a negative manner.
Over the last year, I focused on reading books to open my eyes to the issues that people face because of the color of their skin. I've seen how it does impact so much of a person's life and it shouldn't. At least it shouldn't negatively impact them. I don't see "color" as far as the negative connotation of skin color. I love Houston for that reason. We have so much diversity here. I remember talking to Ashton about this and she didn't even think twice about the color of someone's skin. Her school has a high Hispanic population as well as other ethnicities. I love that!
But when I made playdough this week, it hit me. If I was colorblind, I would see the rainbow of playdough as this:
Yes, they would all look more similar, minus a few a little darker than others. But I would miss this:
I would miss the vibrancy that each color brings to our world and to our lives. I would miss the cultural differences and I would miss the opportunity to celebrate them. I would miss the opportunity to mourn and comfort individuals who face difficulties based on the color of their skin.
If anything, this past year has strengthened my testimony in Heavenly Father's design of His children. He created us in His image and desires that we are proud to be His. We should never feel ashamed, embarrassed, hated, despised, ridiculed, punished, discriminated, persecuted for the way that Heavenly Father made us. And this goes beyond the color of someone's skin. I am grateful for a loving Father in Heaven who can answer prayers, especially the deep, philosophical ones that come late at night.
