Funerals and covenants

Last week, a family in our ward experienced the sudden loss of a grandfather/father/husband. The entire extended family is in either our ward or the other ward in our building. It was a huge loss. The person has been in our stake since it was formed decades ago. Some of the grandchildren are in our primary so the kids knew the family well. 

Unfortunately, the timing of the funeral also happened to be during our ward's shift at the peanut butter factory. Joseph had already committed to that. I decided to take the kids to the funeral anyways. The kids pushed back a little ("I HAVE to wear church clothes AGAIN!- Tanner said as soon I told them). But I reminded them of our baptismal covenant to mourn with those that mourn. I am glad to have teaching moments to help my children see the physical manifestations of our covenants.

I haven't always been able to attend funerals when I wished I could have. There was one in particular that I desperately wanted to attend but couldn't. And I still regret that. I rationalized that Ashton was too young and I wouldn't get to be as present as I would want to be. But I wish I would have gone anyways. Because of that experience, I have since tried to attend the funerals to show our love and support.

The kids surprised me by sitting fairly well for the nearly two hour service. Tanner enjoyed hearing the stories about the man. I hope the kids learned a little bit about their baptismal covenants. Sometimes it means showing up and doing something you don't want to do. Sometimes it means just being there, not saying anything and not helping in any specific way. I still remember a friend who helped me very quietly when my grandma passed away. It was such a small and simple thing she did but it meant the world to me.

The kids got all dressed up and Tanner even wore his white shirt. He was so proud to look like a young man. Hopefully that is the last funeral we have for a while.

The family also asked me to come over the night of the death to explain the loss to the grandchildren. It was a special experience to use some ideas of play therapy to help the young children process the event and what the week ahead would look like. I was glad the parents asked me and I could use my knowledge of child development to help them.